When setting up for dinner, it was mine and my younger sister's responsibility to help prepare the food, set the table, serve everyone, and do all the dishes following the meal. And what did my 10-year-old and 18-year-old brothers do during all of this? Play video games in the family room, of course.
First of all, it's called a family room for a reason; it's not for you to monopolize everyone's time and viewing space with your pointless brain-melting video games (I'm not sure which is more pathetic, the 10 year old or the ADULT 18 year old). Secondly, is this really what we want a boy's place in the modern family to be?
Personally, my mother is a very very old-fashioned woman. She believes 100% that there are certain jobs better suited for men and ones designed for women. And according to her, if there is a job available in the kitchen, a woman should always be the one to take it. Men have better things to worry about! (Like in this case, Assassin's Creed). Considering the fact that she's a single mother working to raise four children primarily on her own, I never had expected this from her...
Anyway, this whole Christmas Eve not only enraged me (bad timing, right?) but it also made me question my family dynamic entirely. If my sister and I are responsible for all of the homekeeping, what are my brothers responsible for? Not to seem bitter or anything, but I do my fair share of work, why shouldn't they?
In the past (where my mother seems to be living), I guess it was normal for women to stay home, raise children and take care of the house while men went out, pursued jobs, and made money to support his family. If this was still the case today, wouldn't it be true that boys should be held to a higher academic standard than girls? Shouldn't they be urged to get jobs at a younger age?
I don't know about other girls in our American Studies class, but at home I find myself and my sister held to exactly the same (if not higher) academic standards than my brothers. I'm also the only child in my family to have/ever have had a job...my brother is 18. Tell me this doesn't sound weird.
I'm not really sure what I'm asking for out of this situation, but I really feel like this modern family dynamic focuses much more on molding young women than molding young men. I know that women have a lot more opportunities now than they did before, and that the amount of stay-at-home dads are increasing, but I can't help feeling the way that I do.
I apologize if this post is a little bit rant-y, but I'm wondering if anyone feels the same way I do. When parents choose to mold their children into ideal modern citizens, how are the upbringings of boys and girls different? Why is so much more stress put on girls becoming ladies (as far as I can tell) than boys becoming men?
2 comments:
Oh god, I totally agree. My mom is definately less old school, and one (of my three) older brothers likes to cook, but my dad seems to think that I am the only one that can wash/put away/dry dishes. When I'm at my dads, Im the only one of five people thats a girl. So when dinner is over, he'll remain seated and hand me his plate-- but only me. He never hands his plate to anyone else. It bothers me a lot, and I've confronted him a couple times, but he always claims he's not sexist.
My dad grew up in southern IL, outside of St. Louis. His family was 5 brothers, and his parents, with a very traditional Irish Catholic mom that did all the cooking. My mom on the other hand grew up as a lady, along with her older sister, but her younger brother was forbidden to do anything kitchen-y. Of course, they did have a full-time maid/cook, so that might have affected things. I think my mom tries not to be sexist, but my dad's just blind to the whole situation.
Ruchi,
A nice thoughtful post -- personal and introspective. It might be interesting to see you visit a source to buttress your views or one to argue with (a gender scholar Stephanie Koontz, Susan Brownmiller, or even Anna Quinlen, a newspaper writer). This could ground your ideas in truths beyond your family to the, ahem...American family
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